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Contest: If humans originated as a chimp-pig hybrid (recent claim) — Judged

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Many funny entries, including “the missing pork link” and “the Baconator.”

Nut we have a winner in Brian1009 at #16, quoted here in part:

according to Wikipedia on interspecific hybrid naming conventions:

Hybrids are often named by the portmanteau method, combining the names of the two parent species. For example, a zeedonk is a cross between a zebra and a donkey. Since the traits of hybrid offspring often vary depending on which species was mother and which was father, it is traditional to use the father’s species as the first half of the portmanteau. For example, a liger is a cross between a male lion and a female tiger, while a tiglon is a cross between a male tiger and a female lion.

Therefore, to properly name this hybrid, we’d need to come up with a portmanteau that combines the first part of the male parent’s name (pig) and the second part of the female parent’s name (chimp).

In following conventional interspecific hybrid naming conventions, then, we humans can trace our ancestry all the way back to the very first pimp.

Nuff said.

We will leave the official zoological nomenclature to Darwin’s nomenklatura. To the rest of us it’s just this: If the theory is true, great-great grandaddy was a, er, pump or something, we’re not sure… 😉

Seriously, Brian1009 needs to be in touch with Denyse O’Leary, denyseoleary@gmail.com, to provide an address to which the prize, the DVD of Flight: The genius of birds, may be mailed.

What??? “the missing pork link” is way funnier. I've been robbed. This contest must have been fixed. Haha. Congratulation Brian1009! julianbre
Hey News, you might enjoy this: Former NY Times Writer Virginia Heffernan Lampooned for Admitting She's a Creationist - July 13, 2013 Excerpt: Former New York Times technology and culture writer Virginia Heffernan, who now writes for Yahoo! News, recently told the world she's a creationist and she has become a lightning rod for ridicule because of it. "I am a creationist. There, I said it. At least you, dear readers, won't now storm out of a restaurant like the last person I admitted that to. In New York City saying you're a creationist is like confessing you think Ahmadinejad has a couple of good points. Maybe I'm the only creationist I know," Heffernan wrote in an article for Yahoo! News on Thursday. In the article, she goes on to explain why she holds the view, tracing a reading experience spanning the Bible, Charles Darwin, Thomas Malthus, Stephen Jay Gould and Sam Harris. Despite that exposure she says: "I still read and read and listen and listen. And I have never found a more compelling story of our origins than the ones that involve God. The evolutionary psychologists with their just-so stories for everything ("You use a portable Kindle charger because mothers in the primordial forest gathered ginseng") have become more contradictory than Leviticus." Citing examples of the fickleness of social science theories, Heffernan argued: "The first books of the Bible are still hanging around. I guess I don't 'believe' that the world was created in a few days, but what do I know? Seems as plausible (to me) as theoretical astrophysics, and it's certainly a livelier tale. As 'Life of Pi" author Yann Martel once put it, summarizing his page-turner novel: "1) Life is a story. 2) You can choose your story. 3) A story with God is the better story,'" she ended. http://www.christianpost.com/news/former-ny-times-writer-virginia-heffernan-lampooned-for-admitting-shes-a-creationist-100022/ bornagain77
pimp! that is just too funny. Very clever!! Katt Williams: The Pimp Chronicles (warning strong language) - video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXoyfX7IoaA&feature=player_detailpage#t=203s bornagain77

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