The UD News Desk recently reported on obviously desperate origin of life researchers’ attempts to give themselves a leg up on the whole “how did life begin” issue. I had to chuckle when I read the article, because it reminded me of my second favorite* Steve Martin routine, “You can be millionaire and never pay taxes!” The routine starts with this:
You can be a millionaire and never pay taxes! You can have one million dollars and never pay taxes! You say “Steve how can I be a millionaire and never pay taxes?” First, get a million dollars. Now you say, “Steve what do I say to the tax man when he comes to my door and says, ‘You have never paid taxes’?” Two simple words. Two simple words in the English language: “I forgot!”
The routine is a classic setup and takedown. Martin sets the scenario up by promising the audience he will show them two things, first how to make a million dollars and second how to avoid paying taxes on the income. Hilarity ensues when he takes down the first expectation with a simple “First, get a million dollars,” and then takes down the second with the lamest tax-avoidance scheme in the history of the world, “I forgot.”
The similarity between the “research” reported in the UD News story and the Martin routine is obvious. It is as if the researches said:
You can account for the staggering complexity of life with one simple explanation! You say, “Mr. Researcher, how can I account for the staggering complexity of life with one simple explanation?” First, start with the complexity. Now you say, “Mr. Researcher, what do I say to the academic community when they come to my door and say ‘You never actually accounted for the origin of the staggering complexity of life.’?” Three simple words. Three simple words in the English language: “I assumed it!”
_______________________
*Like any reasonable person, my favorite is “Cruel Shoes.”