Toiling too long in a clean lab, micromanaging the lives of mice, can really put stress on a person.
Something like that might have happened to the poor sot who wrote us the following, outlining a Drinking Game, to help get through March for Science coverage on the lunchroom TV:
The “March for Science” Drinking Game
Drinking Games can help you get through watching things that are excruciatingly tedious. It might be the best way – perhaps the only way – to get through the entire “March for Science” festivities.
There are a few locations where you can watch the Washington Mall event online: four hours and five and a half hours, depending on how the beer holds out, or your kidneys.
Of course, if you choose to play this game, you don’t have to drink. You could eat snacks, hug a friend, or throw Bowser a treat. Whatever you choose, you’re going to be doing a lot of it while you watch the March for Science.
The game is divided into 5 categories of triggers for taking “shots”: (1) Dogmatism, (2) Scientism/Naturalism/Atheism, (3) Nature Worship, (4) Environmental Alarmism, and (5) Shameless, Lameness, and Political Correctness.
– The speaker cites the “consensus” instead of discussing the evidence: 1 shot
– The speaker praises diversity of views but then demeans those who hold unpopular ones: 2 shots
– The speaker thinks that “Inherit the Wind” is relevant to problems with Darwinism today: 1 shot
– The speaker says the public doesn’t have the right to question “Science”: 1 shot
– The speaker says you must accept “all” of science in its “entirety”: 1 shot
– You hear “scientific literacy” equated with uncritically accepting a consensus: 1 shot
– You hear name-calling against scientists and citizens who are skeptical of the consensus (e.g., “denial” or “denialist” or “deny”), for whatever reason : 2 shots
– Someone intimates that skepticism of a consensus endangers democracy: 1 shot
– Any time a speaker talks as if scientists are an oppressed and persecuted minority rather than an elite group that probably has more cultural clout than any other: 1 shot
– A speaker argues that science should be political: 1 shot
– A speaker supports “doubt” or “questioning” or “critical thinking” in a vague, general way but doesn’t support doubting, questioning, or thinking critically about the current consensus: 1 shot
– A speaker blames the public’s failure to embrace the “consensus” either on the public’s inability to understand the science or on poor science communication. The possibility that the supporting evidence isn’t very convincing, except to devotees, is never imagined, let alone addressed: 1 shot
– You hear the speaker promoting scientism—the view that science is the only path to real knowledge: 1 shot
– Scientific knowledge is said to be superior to other types of knowledge: 1 shot
– Science is equated with “Truth”: 1 shot
– The scientific method is promoted as near-infallible—or something you’re never allowed to question: 1 shot
– An intolerant atheist (e.g., Neil deGrasse Tyson, Bill Nye) pretends to have mainstream American values: 1 shot
– Someone suggests that love is just a chemical: 1 shot
– Someone sings a gospel song praising scientific “Truth” instead of God: 1 shot
– A speaker parodies Genesis: 1 shot
– You hear some reference to the history of science where the church supposedly persecuted science (e.g., “Galileo”), full of historical error and lacking context (but why should that matter?): 1 shot
– A speaker mentions the history of science but says nothing about how JudeoChristian religion played a major, positive role in the development of science: 1 shot
(3) Nature Worship:
– A speaker suggests or implies that the one and only thing that ties all humanity together is the fact that we live on earth: 1 shot
– Nature is personified as if it is conscious or alive: 1 shot.
– Someone alludes to the greatness and glory of “evolution”: 1 shot
– You hear praise for “Mother Earth”: 1 shot
(4) Environmental Alarmism:
– Every time you hear an environmental alarmist speak as if the world is going to end: 2 shots
– A speaker suggests that accepting the “consensus” is vital to the survival of the human race: 1 shot
– Every time a speaker suggests that driving a car or flying a plane is morally wrong, in front of a crowd that mostly used fuel other than granola bars to get there (but no one notices): 2 shots
– whenever humans are dismissed, compared to animals or nature: 3 shots
(5) Shamelessness, Lameness, and Political Correctness:
– A kid is used as an unwitting shill for the consensus and/or promotes shutting down scientific dissent: 1 shot
– A speaker makes some superfluous comment simply in order to establish their credentials that make them “politically correct” (you can decide for yourself what’s politically correct and what’s not): 1 shot
– A speaker attacks conservatives, but fails to mention that many recent conservative presidents have, individually, increased the federal science budget far more than President Obama did: 1 shot
– No one gets ejected from the rally for pointing out that President Obama did not need to bother spending money on science; rhetoric is clearly enough to satisfy these stooges; they just love that victim role.
– Every time you feel tempted to turn off the “March for Science” because it was unbearably boring—but you keep going just so you can say you finished the “March for Science Drinking Game”: 1 shot
We have sent this individual the worldwide phone number for Alcoholics Anonymous just in case a problem develops over time… It’s not clear that signing on as group work co-ordinator for the multi-year, multi-site Mus musculus cirrhosis study was his best career move to date…
But the ancients used to say that drunkenness sometimes aids creativity; not that you heard it from us.
See also: March for Science: Neil DeGrasse Tyson thinks science denial dismantles democracy Poseur. Democracy gets dismantled mainly when not believing the government of the day becomes a crime.