Darwinism Evolution Intelligent Design

My New Darwinalia® Product Line

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I’m planning a new product line of Darwin paraphernalia — Darwinalia®. The first item is set to go — “Darwin in a Vise” (already advertised on this blog here).

The next item I would like to produce is what I call “The Darwin Quaffer.” In the old days, before girly men, my forebears used to go into battle and, if victorious, take the skull of a defeated foe and use it as a cup. What I propose is a life-sized head/bust of Darwin in which the head pops open and there, immediately available, is a simulated skull ready to go as a drinking cup.

If anyone is handy with animated gif images and can provide an electronic mock-up of this item, I’d be grateful. As with all of ID, the important thing is first to have the concept. Production can then follow as a matter of course.

I own the domain name www.darwinalia.com and am looking for investors in this project. Needless to say, I have many other product ideas.

52 Replies to “My New Darwinalia® Product Line

  1. 1
    crandaddy says:

    Bill: “I’m planning a new product line of Darwin paraphernalia — Darwinalia®. The first item is set to go — ‘Darwin in a Vise'”

    Ooh! Ooh! I want one! Are you really gonna do it? If so, put me down for the first one off the production line! I think it’s a really cool idea! Reconsider “The Darwin Quaffer” though; I think it’s just a bit too morbid.

    David

  2. 2
    Charlie says:

    Can I order three of the transformer finches with interchangeable bills for varying moisture levels?
    Oh, and two “it seems to me…” plaques.
    And a morphing vertebrate eye would be great for Christmas.
    I’m going to max out my card here.

  3. 3
    dougmoran says:

    Dr. Demski,
    I am interested in your new Darwinalia product line, provided suitable accomodation can be made for profits – and ale. Seriously, email me privately if you’re really looking for investors.
    Regards,
    Doug
    dougmoran@adelphia.net

  4. 4

    Charlie, I like the way you think. Consider yourself head of product development. With it comes a generous employee discount, so don’t worry about maxing out your card.

  5. 5
    Charlie says:

    I’m sorry, I forgot to specify that I want that eyeball properly designed – no backward wiring. If they are still in production you may substitute a volume of Uncle Charlie’s Just-So Bedtime Stories For Tots.

  6. 6
    Charlie says:

    Woohoo!

  7. 7

    Doug, I’ll be in touch once I get back from appearing on The Daily Show. Yes, I am serious about cashing in on ID, and this is one way to do it (Darwinists are able to cash in on evolution from the public coffers as at the NSF, etc.; we, on the other hand, have to earn an honest capitalistic living). I believe the name “Darwinalia” is heaven sent. If you do a Google search, there are only 4 hits. This is virgin territory.

  8. 8
    havoc says:

    Okay, now you’ve gone and done it! I actually had to subscribe for this one.

    – Those Lint Candles you find in the Catholic Church, but with scenes of The Voyage. All images of The Prophet (Darwin) will have the classic golden halo/aura around his head.

    I’ll help you out getting a shopping cart up. I’ll host the store for starters, and offer my “sweat capital” for admin when you move to a dedicated server for this project.

    woohoo!

  9. 9
    crandaddy says:

    Here’s a thought: Make a Richard Dawkins Halloween mask with a battery-powered speaker that plays some of his classic quotes. It’s funny you made this entry, because I was just thinking the other day that I would like to dress up as Dawkins for Halloween – complete with that ridiculous “Atheists for Jesus” t-shirt. Really, can you think of anything scarier than that?

    David

  10. 10
    scordova says:

    I think the images portrayed of Darwin in a vise elicits too much sympathy from the public. The Darwin Doll has to look in such a way that he is seen as the obvious bad guy. He looks too much like a victim rather than villain in that vise picture.

    The picture of IDists involved in an inquisition is probably not good public relations. We should leave that inquisition image to the 120 faculty in Iowa State, or some of the faculty at George Mason or Ohio State or the scientists at the Smithsonian…..

    Here is my free idea for your product line. With modern chip based sound we can get the Darwin doll to be saying all sorts of villainous things. Have Darwin doll say things schemeing to oppress a fair maiden or family.

    Then we have hero action figure (who says noble things, and is an IDist). He has a ray gun (symbolic of the light of truth) which when brought to bear on Darwin’s head causes the Darwin doll to shake and then pop out all sort of body parts or entrails.

    The fair maiden or family action figures give a cheer for the ID action hero upon defeating the evil Darwin doll. I think that’s a more marketable concept. That’s my idea anyway.

    Such a product line would of course lead to a cartoon show with the characters portrayed as such. It would be very entertaning, and hopefully all this will make you rich (in addition to the 1 million you got from they Cayman Islands)!

  11. 11
    crandaddy says:

    …oh yeah, and give the mask red, glowing eyes and maybe some fangs like a vampire…

    By the way, I like the way you think, Salvador. We want to let the public know that we are the good guys in this battle.

    …oh, and give the mask a pallid, sickly complexion; he kind of reminds me of Emperor Palpatine from Star Wars…

    David

  12. 12

    Sal, consider yourself head of long-term strategic planning and international marketing. The commercial possibilties are limitless!

  13. 13
    jasonng says:

    How about collectible plush dolls that mimic Darwin’s finches, I’m sure they’d appeal to the younger crowd. Maybe throw in a special edition Darwin doll where he screams “why would you speciate!?!”

    Also something that mocks Darwinist teachers that try to quell debate in the classroom would be fun, might even start a trend if students get kicked out of class for wearing anti-Darwinian T-shirts.

  14. 14
    Charliecrs says:

    Awesome concept Mr. Dembski !!!

    I’ve actually got a writers block from all the ideas running through my head after reading this one. I’ll try to list just a couple tho…

    1) the Darwin vise but instead of the head we aim a bit lower [censored area]
    Gosh – i feel the pain already [ Darwin – community backlash expected probably ]
    probability high if ya go with this one lol 🙂

    2) an interchangeable Darwin doll with removable / attachable pieces
    [ clothes, etc, etc. ]
    maybe one of the shirts have the phrase like , i support ID
    or Evolve this [a certain finger extended ]
    or Evolution 4 dummies 101

    the list goes on…..

    Charlie

  15. 15
    Charliecrs says:

    Still stuck on the writers block —
    too many ideas / images popping in…
    a can of worms just got opened up @ my central processing unit
    via this thread and im laughing my kiesters off 🙂 🙂 🙂

    are u serious about this Mr. Dembski [ no reply needed ]
    if ya are i hope my ideas were refreshing @ the least…

    Charlie

  16. 16

    If the capital is there to pull this off, I’ll do whatever I can to make this work — I’ll even do an infomercial. Such an infomercial, in demonstrating our products, would not only be excruciatingly funny, but it could also be a perfect vehicle for getting out our message. Think of it: debunking Darwin, promoting ID, and turning a profit to boot!

  17. 17
    crandaddy says:

    I wanted to juxtapose pics of Dawkins and Palpatine side-by-side, but I can’t post pics on this blog :(. Anyway, I say go for it. Satire is a very powerful tool. It’s been used as a weapon against ID (using straw men, red herrings and ad hominems galore, of course), and it’s due time ID proponents return fire.

    David

  18. 18
    Charlie says:

    Hey boss, if you’re doing any tv spots I think a sure seller would be that lovable plush pooch, Huxley-Darwin’s Bulldog. Every kid will all want to be first to adopt him from the pound and receive a full set of papers (for paper training, not pedigree registration, of course).

    ps.
    Don’t forget, when honouring employee discounts, that I’m not Charliecrs.

  19. 19
    DaveScot says:

    Don’t forget about board and parlor game knockoffs such as Darwinopoly and Darwinial Pursuit. Then there’s the collectables lines – Darweenie Babies and Darwin’s Little Ponies. A Mister Darwin Head that starts off as a malleable amoeboid form to which you can attach various different evolved parts like fins, leaves, berries, antennae, gills, eyes, ears, beaks, jaws, hooves, tails, wings, etc.

  20. 20
  21. 21
    Charliecrs says:

    Hey Sblank – that was cool ani
    ya should of added a mini Darwin in da front and then it [evolves] 2 Dawkins and the Euginie and im sure ya’ll could add a couple more names…
    and then finally followed by pandasdumb or talkorgins [what ya think ?]

    on a personal note: if ya are gona do it PLLLLEEEAAAASEEEEEE dont allow this evolution animation to happen by millions of years – i wont live that long to see the end product. besides
    how many frames would you neeed for that ?. so i think u should model this evolution on a very loose version of punctuated equilibrium theory model. [Punctuated Equilibria]

    so while in [normal] evolution for 1 creature to evolve it would take x amount of years [millions +] and Punctuated Equilibria [theory] would drastically reduce that to shorter millions of years ??? and then for our model the animations evolution would only take a couple seconds…..

    Charlie – although its kinda weird calling you Charlie, im feeling a tad sad that u keep reminding every1 ur not me bro 🙁 lol [ i think 1 time was enough ]
    but what the heck, cool name tho… 🙂

    Everyone – what a bout an evolving Darwin head ?
    ya drop water on it [ hot ]and it goes through the stages
    from ape [ i mean not really an ape but ape like] creature
    to all the intermedies…. and then to the current version
    homo saps ?

    ya see, we didn’t evolve from actual apes but an ape “like” creature
    most people [ da common folk ] who are uneducated off course don’t understand this. and they
    grossly misunderstand the evolutionary model when they use that argument against evolution.

    if it wasn’t a ape or man what the heck was it ?.
    “ape like ” gosh – what is that a retard ?

    anyways sorry to get off topic…

    Charlie [ i mean im charliecrs, and not charlie ]
    lol 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 )

  22. 22
    josephus63 says:

    This is beginning to sound like it could be dubbed “Dembski’s Dangerous Idea”.

    What are going to do with the “peppered moths”?

  23. 23
    mechanicalbirds says:

    How about flagellum bath toys for the kids? i would rather have one of those than a rubber duck.

  24. 24
    Qualiatative says:

    I think you should sell macroscopic models of amino acids and have an instruction manual show how to build the bacterial flagellum — kind of like a 3D puzzle. This would be both educational AND entertaining.

  25. 25
    havoc says:

    “Darwoggle”..

    all of the parts of complex systems (eyes, blood-clot model, flagellum, etc, ad infinitum), put them into the shaker glob, and you have 2 minutes-per-turn to shake your complex system into forming. If it forms up, you can put it into your score column/on your organism. If not, it goes back into the “soup.” The player/team with the most assembled complex systems at the end of the game wins!

    “Darwilograms”

    using the old “holographic technology” that we all “loved” to find in our Cracker Jacks as kids, make holographs that show blue-green algae/whales, monkeys/people, dinosaur/archeopteryx, etc, ad infinitum. This would be a great place to do the Dawkins/Palatine theme as well. Finches with large/small beaks.

    “Bookshelf”

    in the Darwinalia bookstore, you can put books like “Darwin’s Dangerous Idea,” along with Dawkin’s works in the “Religion” section.

  26. 26
    dougmoran says:

    Our first feature film: “Alice in Evoland”.

  27. 27
    Charlie says:

    These board game ideas are great.
    Is there one where you put all the pieces on the board, roll the dice and then do nothing but wait for the game to play itself?

    Charliecrs – sorry, no offence meant. I thought in the spirit of running gags the redundancy would be funny. Besides which, anything to avoid paying retail …

    Cheers

  28. 28
    Jedi Deist says:

    I recommend a line of Freinds for Darwin. Y’know, famous historical characters who have been strongly influenced by Darwin. Marx comes to mind. Oh, and Nietzsche.

  29. 29
    scordova says:

    We can’t forget Denyse O’Leary’s DarwinBots!

    That brought to mind the BattleBots wars where robot makers built small robot gladiators. It’s a riot.

    Of all things, in the following link, to “Episode 10” of the BattleBots Video Archive, there is ever so brief mention of BattleBots that used a WEDGE to demolish their opponents. WedgeBots would zip at high speed into the opponent and use it’s Wedge to overturn the opponent and slam it into the wall.

    Guys, you’ve got to see the videos in episode 10:
    http://www.battlebots.com/videos2/

    Sal

  30. 30
    Watchman says:

    How odd! I’ve been working on a few Darwin products as well. The one currently under development is one I call a “Darwin Clock”. Though it appears to be a simple box of rocks, the instruction manual informs the purchaser that “… when the box is shaken for a ‘sufficient’ amount of time, one will find a working clock inside! A fun project for the whole family!” *

    * ‘Sufficient’ time varies and may include time periods spanning (but not limited to) billions of years.

  31. 31
    Bombadill says:

    My vote goes toward a Darwin Chia-Head. Stick it on the window cil and watch that green beard grow. In this case, no watering is required. The beard will develop without any feeding.

  32. 32
    Gumpngreen says:

    “What are going to do with the “peppered moths”?”

    Simple. Have the moths be like a beanbag, then have a target board to hang on the wall. On this board is velcro in the form of trees. The goal is to throw the moths at the board and have them stick to the trees.

  33. 33
    petro says:

    How about pin the moth on the tree?

  34. 34
    jasonng says:

    How about a collection of bobbleheads of famous Darwinists, each one sporting a copy of “On the Origin of Species” and preaching it in a religious fashion? They could be bundled with famous examples of evolution that everyone knows from biology textbooks such as fruit flies, the peppered moth and horses.

    I’ve always been annoyed by people who have the Darwin fish on their cars, maybe ID needs its own symbol, something that mocks Darwinism.

  35. 35
    havoc says:

    Icons series t-shirts:

    Evolution of man:
    o o o o o o o o o o
    /|\ /|\ /|\ /|\ /|\ /|\ /|\ /|\ /|\ /|\
    / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \

    Haeckel’s embryos:
    @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @
    octopus lizard crow shark darwin elephant rhino cheetah

    (I’m afraid that a proportional is going to destroy my lovely, highly advance artwork, but you can copy/paste it into some other app, with fix-width fonts to get the “full effect.”)

  36. 36
    havoc says:

    I love the bobbleheads idea. Dawkins, Dennet and company require bobble-arms to show them preaching the Gospel of Darwin.

  37. 37
    havoc says:

    Panda’s thumb pocket knives.

  38. 38
    Daniel512 says:

    Out of topic:

    Look at the big amount of responses to this post (36) and many of the last ones here (25, 36, 37, 29, 50, etc). Then compare it with the amount of comments in April when this blog started. It has experienced an interesting and fast growing.

  39. 39
    crandaddy says:

    Qualitative: “I think you should sell macroscopic models of amino acids and have an instruction manual show how to build the bacterial flagellum — kind of like a 3D puzzle. This would be both educational AND entertaining. ”

    That’s good, but I’ll take it a step further: Provide detailed instructions on how to put it together following the correct evolutionary path. Oh, wait…Yeah, right…Nevermind.

    David

  40. 40
    DonaldM says:

    Davis writes: “Here’s a thought: Make a Richard Dawkins Halloween mask with a battery-powered speaker that plays some of his classic quotes. It’s funny you made this entry, because I was just thinking the other day that I would like to dress up as Dawkins for Halloween – complete with that ridiculous “Atheists for Jesus” t-shirt. Really, can you think of anything scarier than that?”

    Yes, Daniel Dennett wearing one!

  41. 41
    Tim Sverduk says:

    How did people make money during a paradigm shift? The t-shirt idea would probably work. Where do I send the check? Ticker: DRWN? I am interested.

  42. 42
    mechanicalbirds says:

    So… wasn’t Bill supposed to be on the Dailey Show tonight?

  43. 43
    SteveB says:

    I couldn’t help but notice that the tone on this blog has deteriorated of late. Yes, Dawkins tends to lead with his nose and this, combined with his monumental arrogance, creates an almost-irresistable temptation to bloody it, even if just a little. But as Bill has said elsewhere, the high road is so much better:

    “This is a nasty debate. …It’s therefore tempting to respond in kind. Our work is not interpreted charitably, so let’s not interpret our opponents’ work charitably. They nitpick, so let’s nitpick in turn. They capitalize on insignificant mistakes and oversights, so let’s return the favor. Responding this way hurts us. We come across as churlish and catty. Precisely when the other side throws civility and courtesy to the wind is when we need bend over backwards to address any legitimate concerns that our opponents might be raising. (emphasis mine) This keeps us on topic and maintains our composure. This is important because maintaining composure under pressure is especially effective for establishing one’s credibility.”

    Food for thought.

    -sb

  44. 44
    nostrowski says:

    There’s enough “high road” debate on this site to justify some occasional fun. Good satire is neither churlish nor catty nor necessarily uncivil.

  45. 45
    SteveB says:

    The quotation is from Bill not me–interestingly enough, from the article posted in the thread immediately preceding this one. Just wondering how (or if) this applies here, because this sort of mocking derision seems to be exactly what he’s arguing against.
    -sb

  46. 46
    nostrowski says:

    I understood precisely who the quotation was from. But I think you may be confusing acceptable satire (of which I believe Charlie the most proficient) with “mocking derision” or, in Mr. Dembski’s parlance, churlishness. I take exception not with Bill Dembski’s quote, but of your opportunistic parsing of it.

  47. 47
    mynym says:

    …this sort of mocking derision seems to be exactly what he’s arguing against.

    Dembski’s reason:
    This is important because maintaining composure under pressure is especially effective for establishing one’s credibility.

    That’s true. Apparently he wants to make some fun to have some fun but one cannot be a satirist and a scientist. So I suggest murmuring about the science of things ad naseam like the cold toads and all their toadies do. Apparently it is important to have credibility these days since few people seem to know very much and most have to accept knowledge based on “credibility.” Credibility seems to make ignorant people think of Darwinism: “It seems absurd, counter-intuitive and goes against common experience and common sense. But once some people thought that earth being round was absurd and scientists disproved that. So if someone has scientific credibility then pretty much everything they say is scientific which means it is just about true even if it seems absurd and stupid. After all, if you disagree with a scientist then that’s just like saying the earth is flat or somethin’.

    Given the importance of credibility ID fellows have to have crediblity and don’t get to make fun to have any fun.

    [Boring. Goodbye. –WmAD]

  48. 48
    SteveB says:

    nostrowski:

    First, a disclaimer: I certainly do not agree with Dawkins’ views, or his communication style, or his arrogance, which as far as I can tell, is pretty profound.

    Having said that, I’m not sure what “opportunistic parsing” means in this case: 1) the opportunity was provided by Bill, who, like I said provided the cite in the thread previous to this one, and 2) the section I quoted didn’t distort his original meaning at all.

    I suppose our difference comes down to the definition of what “acceptable satire” is. My opinion is that repeated references to Dawkins as “girly man,” or his “sun dress” or breast size is neither acceptable nor satire. It’s just ad-hominem crap–and juvenile to boot. Are you sure you want to adopt a position in which you’re defending stuff like that?

    If the point of this blog is to provide a forum for the already-converted to mock the opposition and consequently yuk it up, then I suppose that’s OK–Bill can create what ever kind of forum he wants to. On the other hand, if, as was mentioned in the afore-mentioned article, we should be concerned about those he calls “nonpartisans,” then keeping our comments relevant–both in terms of the “logos” and their “ethos”–is something we should be concerned about.

  49. 49
    nostrowski says:

    steveb: Simply put, steveb, if the high road means you can never let your hair down, I prefer to seek an occasional detour. Is it possible that you take things too seriously? And, for the record, I didn’t say that there was no churlishness evident anywhere on this site, I said I thought you might be confusing satire with mocking derision. I gave you an example of satire (charlie) and you give me back man boobs,(though admittedly, I laughed out loud at that too). My point remains, despite your deflection. I see charlie as acceptable satire and, so, as you insist on talking about man boobs and sundresses (neither of which occured on this thread), do you. If your problem is the latter, why not address it where it is?

    PS: I don’t require your disclaimers.

  50. 50
    nostrowski says:

    This, especially, is priceless:

    These board game ideas are great.

    Is there one where you put all the pieces on the board, roll the dice and then do nothing but wait for the game to play itself?

  51. 51
    SteveB says:

    “I didn’t say that there was no churlishness evident anywhere on this site” OK, then you agree with me, at least in part. I also didn’t say that I thought it _all_ was (yes, the board game thing was funny), but that the general tone had deteriorated of late, and that this tone was not consistent with the principles laid out in the paper.

    The paper, BTW, is a good one and well worth reading.

    -sb

  52. 52
    nostrowski says:

    sb: I don’t disagree with your intent. I disagree with your placement. This Darwinalia thread was harmless fun. It was the Dawkins cruise picture where you might have called people back to their senses. Thus the parsing allegation. I do not think, though I cannot speak for anyone but myself, that Bill Dembski had acceptable satire in mind when he called for an end to churlishness. But, we split hairs. I’ll read the paper.

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