This stuff is not our usual line of coverage. But in these strange times — when Woke American billionaires tell us all when we may and may not laugh — you might be missing the Bee’s sendup of some of the most asinine upperclassmen in Western world history. So here’s your fix:
Twitter Hires Will Smith To Slap Comedians Who Tell Jokes They Don’t Like “Here at Twitter, jokes are no laughing matter,” said Twitter CEO Parag Agrawal. “We hate our precious ideology being made fun of more than we hate terrorists and concentration camps combined. We tried simple censorship, but last night we discovered what appears to be a much more fun and popular way to deal with offensive jokes—literal violence! Who knew you could be applauded for assault and battery, so long as it was in response to a tasteless joke? We are proud to bring Mr. Smith on board to begin a slapping rampage against our foes.”
Amy Schumer Horrified To Learn You Can Now Get Slapped For Bad Jokes “With the comedy world having been put on notice, many comedians are deciding to avoid telling jokes to roomfuls of mentally ill narcissists for the time being. ”
Gender Reveal Party Invalidated As Neither Parent Has Biology Degree “We were so excited. We thought we were having a boy,” said Shelley. “But now… who knows what it is. It might not even be a baby. I don’t know. I’m not a biologist.”
Note a joke, apparently: Elon Musk sits down with the Babylon Bee “RED ALERT: this is not a joke. Elon Musk sat down with Babylon Bee CEO Seth Dillon, EIC Kyle Mann, and Creative Director Ethan Nicolle for an in-depth interview on wokeness, Elizabeth Warren, taxing the rich, the Metaverse, which superhero Elon would be, and how the left is killing comedy.”:
It would seem that Musk is a more thoughtful individual than he has sometimes appeared to be.
You may also wish to laugh your way through: The Babylon Bee is in Twitter Jail… For your Saturday evening amusement, here are some of their latest stories, including Adam Confused By New Creature God Put In Garden As He Is Not A Biologist.