How many Darwinists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

_{Gil Dodgen

April 18, 2006

Intelligent Design}

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http://cartagodelenda.blogspot.com/2006/04/great-debate.html

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IDOL (Infinite designer of life) Ye are the light of the world. A cd that is set on a hil (child) can knot. Be hid. ZeroZero_{April 22, 2006
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Jerry Coyne: None. The physicist gets to screw in the light bulbs since they are the top of the laddder because in science's pecking order, evolutionary biologists lurk somewhere near the bottom of the ladder, far closer to phrenologists than to physicists.scordova_{April 21, 2006
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More Matrix stuff: Morpheus: Neo, I offer you two books. In my right hand I'm holding this red book titled "Darwin's BlackBulb: Mechanical Challenge to Spontaneous Bulbscrewing". In my left hand you see this blue book "The Blind Bulbscrewer". This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take and read the blue book, the story ends. You wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red book you stay in wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.Farshad_{April 20, 2006
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I think someone should group together the best of the above comments (and on the original 'Great Debate' website) put up a few $$$$ and produce and short documentary spoof movie (with actors resembling the original Richard Dorkins, Prof Pianka, Eugeeeenie etc, etc) just to show how lucidris these mooks really are and how they sidestep questions better than a football running back. Then distribute it across the net for once and for all show how the media and darwimpians competely try and skew all press coverage to show them in a good 'light' ahem excuse the pun....it would be priceless!! It could be titled "Darwin in the limelight - the lights are on but nobody's home" Anymore Idea's????lucID_{April 20, 2006
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Will Provine: Light bulbs are the greatest engine for atheism ever invented.Mats_{April 20, 2006
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Barbara Forrest: No Darwinist is need. It's the Religious Right who assumes that one is required.Mats_{April 20, 2006
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Carl Sagan : Billions and Billionsscordova_{April 19, 2006
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psssst, Gandalf, its "Darwimpians" ;-) Evo Alert 1: Evidence of missing link Darwinist fossil found! It appears the new fossil, longus neckus up to 5ft in length eliminated other potential light bulb screwers who needed a ladder to see how to screw in the light bulb. Knowing the ladder had not been invented 1 million years ago, this new fossil along with other fossil record provides "overwhelming" evidence along with longus armstremitus. And while the fossil is only a tooth and half a jaw bone, evolutionist stated one can easily see the markings of deep scorations upon the molar indicated a twisting like motion. And the jaw bone appears to show solid evidence of stressful lockjaw on strong metal. Dawkins, Knight Templar Poobah of Public Science says, "This makes an atheist dream come true. The obvious environmental factors of competition to reach forth to tall heights is Darwinology at its best! This should prove once and for all ID is not science and Darwin was right. Longus Neckus proves it takes just one to screw a light bulb!" Evo Alert 2: Evolutionist determine the serpent evolved from walking to belly slithering ON LAND, thus eliminating the "sea to land to man to light bulb" pathway, but a new pathway may be found in "sea to bird to flying man to lightbulb". Dawkins quoted as saying, "acting efficiently of course evolution appears naturally in external environmental competition to be designed, however we know differently." Snake(najash rionegrina) loses legs on land: http://www.cnn.com/2006/TECH/science/04/19/fossil.snake.ap/index.html?eref=yahoo More proof Darwin is god and darwinians his angels! What else can explain so many.... explanations? Public ask Dawkins, was there not some ancient document stating a snake would crawl on its belly? Dawkins unavailable for immediate response to the public due to meeting Animal rights protestors. Activist have recently detroyed lab facilities protesting against unfair civil liberties abuse of snakes, blames science for leg loss. Dawkins did release a standard statement in lieu of later comments: It is obvious religion is ruining science.Michaels7_{April 19, 2006
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Nietzche: It just doesn't matter, does it? Planned Parenthood: As many as they want to, as long as they use condoms. (...deep breath, shift gears...) John A. Davison: You're talking one of them light bulbs in a kiddie bake oven, right? Well, I've got a recipe them Darwinists can eat after they're done screwing in that light bulb.Gandalf_{April 19, 2006
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"LET THERE BE LIGHT" My wife and I were just going together and we were up at the Citrus Lounge one night when the lights went out - the power failed. Joanie went back into the kitchen and got some candles and lit them. She walked back through the door, announced, "Let there be light" and held the candles up. At that moment all the lights came back on. CITY LIGHTS OUT I was sitting in front of the Ranch House Restaurant one night. I was depressed. I was thinking about bad things having happened and I shouted out a very bad expletive and cursed at God. Just at that moment the lights went out over the whole city. ............................................................................... (My wife and I had a cocktail lounge for 23 years. We had a janitor, for a time, who saved things from the trash cans.) ............................................................................... ITÃ¢â‚¬â„¢S THE BULB, STUPID After checking a ceiling light fixture with three different bulbs, I assumed the fixture was bad - so I changed it. I had used three bad bulbs to check it. Two weeks later, after checking the cash register light with three different bulbs, I assumed the fixture was bad, so I tore it completely apart. Again, it was OK - I had used three bad bulbs to check it. CHANGE LIGHT JOKE Years ago I heard Paul Harvey tell a joke on the radio. He said, "How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?" and he said, "Well really, just one, but only if the light bulb wants to be changed." Days later, I was sitting at the Ranch House thinking about this joke, (about whether I should tell it to the person next to me). At that moment I looked up. The dishwasher had a stool and sat it down directly in front of me. He climbed up on the stool and started changing the light bulb in the ceiling. ................................................................................... "The order of creation is as follows: 1. Verse 3 light 2. Verse 8 home. (firmament, heaven) 3. Verse 10 earth " When I posted the above on "Google talk origins", someone posted,"You err." and he quoted where God said,"I create darkness and I create light." While taking a break, I jotted down my reply on a scratch pad: "It's simple. If he chooses, he turns off the light." I walked into my computer room to post, turned on the switch and the light bulb blew. The Big Bang: I went to work one morning and turned to the mechanic next to me and said, "If God wanted to, He could turn the oceans into gas and look for someone with a match." A couple of hours later I was listening to the radio when the news came on. The announcer said that a Cuban refugee had boarded an airliner, thrown gasoline on a stewardess and threatened to strike a match. ZeroZero_{April 19, 2006
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This much fun should be illegal, or at least considered sinful. Matteo, You obviously missed your calling. You could easily give P.J. O'Rourke a run for his money as an articulate, clever, satirical humorist. Isn't humor interesting? It has a habit of revealing obvious truths. That's why we laugh. GilGilDodgen_{April 19, 2006
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T. Dobzhansky: Nothing in illuminology makes sense except in the light of evolution. Carl Sagan: The light bulb is all there is, was or ever will be Richard Lowentin: None because we are forced by our a priori adherence to material causes to create an apparatus of investigation and a set of concepts that produce material explanations, no matter how counter-intuitive, . . . Moreover, that materialism is absolute, for we cannot allow a Divine Light in the door. Stephen Hawking: None because the light bulb has no edge or boundary so no beginning is required. Alan Guth: None. The light bulb is just a bubble bulb within a vast sea of bubble bulbs that make up all the light around us. Lee Smolin: None: Light bulbs reproduce through cosmological natural selection. Hugh Everett: None. Since all possible illuminations that the state function could assume get tried out in the quantum universe, having a light bulb in a socket is no surprise. David Lewis: None. Any logically possible world may or may not have light bulbs in sockets. We just happen to live in one that does.DonaldM_{April 19, 2006
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Paley: If you're walking along a beach and find a lit Tiki torch, you know it had a fire starter. A lightbulb is much more complex, and therefore requires an even greater church burning ebola boy. :PFross_{April 19, 2006
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LOL... wondered when Neo would hook up. Bulbinetics - haha! potential best seller! How to be "clear" in 10 turns or less. Daniel Dennett: This is absolutely Meme-less since only religion can be Meme-driven. Alister McGrath responds to Dennett's book, Breaking the Spell, http://cis.org.uk/resources/articles/article_archive/mcgrath_rsa_lecture.pdf (10 pages) Monty Python: 42 Darwinist or is it 42 mice? Pianca: Is there a difference? Google: nyet, answer is 5th sequence of 10 digit sum = 49 in e. hehe... Gil, enjoyed it.Michaels7_{April 19, 2006
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The geological event called Bulbrian explosion shows sudden appearance of thousands of different light bulbs functional and screwed in their sockets. Dawkins: Well, there is nothing special regarding Bulbrian explosion. A sudden change in environmental selective pressure, a sharp decrease in sunlight, caused lightbulbs with an ability to screw be naturally selected. You see it's all selection and evolution, there were no divine hands. There are creationists who claim a mythical figure called Thomas Edison invented lightbulbs and teached people how to screw it in the socket. These fairytales are purely based on religious beliefs and has nothing to do with science.Farshad_{April 19, 2006
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I had a feeling this would be a hit!GilDodgen_{April 19, 2006
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Ken Miller - none, because the bulb could be used as a drinking glass, the filament could have been a spring, the screw part could have been used as an archimedian pump, and the contacts could be used as a dandy tie-clip!chunkdz_{April 19, 2006
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(Gil, hey look what you started! :-) How many Darwinists does it take to screw in a light bulb? John Barrow: "Will you guys stop quoting Dawkins, he can't tell you because he's not a real scientist. He's a biologist." Salscordova_{April 19, 2006
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President Bush: How many Darwinists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well that all depends on whether the Darwinist is part of the axiz of evil? And if he is I'll guarentee you this son 'We'll blow his @^%^#$% all the way to Iraq and back. In fact he's probably a part of the ACLU which in my Suthern books is good fur Nuthin like the continent of Iran - which I'm gonna nuke just to be safe ....nuke Iran that is not the ACULA - although I'm sure those liberal lefties didn't support my election campaign so I'm gonna nuke em anyways. (Donald - get them launch codes!!!) Arnold: ACLU are girlie-men. ha ha halucID_{April 19, 2006
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Sen John Kerry: How many Darwinists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well that all depends on....what magazine are you from again?????....Ahhh yes of course SciAm Editorial...ahem as I was saying positively it screws in by itself over time and chance, I fully support eliminating any opposition to Darwinian theory in High Schools. Did you get a shot of my ACLU blazer there??? Sen John Kerry: My answer???? Ummm yes.....you're from???......Creation Science Quarterly magazine....yes well obviously everyone is free to express their own opinion and yes I would support Intelligent Design opposition supporting that a Darwinist actually screwed in the light bulb. Did you get a shot of my Ecumenical Blazer???lucID_{April 19, 2006
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L Ron Hubbard: What is important is that complete silence is observed when the lightbulb spontaneously screws in over time. Disturbing repressed, subconscience memories can cause the bulb to experience difficulties later in life. Furthermore the Bulb can educate itself to a point of freedom from the light fixture and become an 'illuminated' Thetan-bulb. All will be revealed in my upcoming book 'Bulbinetics': the modern science of Bulb health. Only $500.
lucID_{April 19, 2006
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How many Darwinists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
We don't know. We left them alone with it a few billion years ago, and their strategy of a sequence of small twists in random directions has only netted them some sore wrists.

The group that tried the single twist in the correct direction, on the other hand...
Tiax_{April 19, 2006
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Morpheus: The Darwinian Matrix is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.

Neo: What truth?

Morpheus: That you are a slave to Darwinian logic. Like everyone else you were born into bondage, a prison for your mind. The truth that everything you know about lightbulbs spontaneously screwing in with time and chance by process of natural selection is false.
lucID_{April 19, 2006
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Mulder: That's whay I'm trying to find out. The light is out there! William Lane Craig: P-1 Any light which begins to glow must have a cause. P-2 The light began to glow. Therefore: The light has a cause.DonaldM_{April 19, 2006
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The Oracle: I really don't know if you are the bulb, whether you'll actually spontaneously screw in is up to you though. Remember it's not how brightly you shine but how you shine. Oracle: I'd ask you to screw in, but, you're not going to anyway. And don't worry about the bulb. Neo: What bulb? [Neo turns to look for a bulb, and as he does, he knocks over a bulb, which shatters on the floor.] Oracle: That bulb. Neo: I'm sorry-- Oracle: I said don't worry about it. I'll get one of my kids to fix it. Neo: How did you know? Oracle: Ohh, what's really going to bake you're noodle later on is, would you still have broken it if I hadn't said anything Agent Smith (AKA Richard Dawk-ins): I'd like to share a revelation that I've had, during my time here. It came to me when I tried to classify your,'Religious' species. I realized that you're not actually mammals. Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment, but you 'Religious' humans do not. You move to an area, and you multiply, and multiply, until every natural resource is consumed. The only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. A virus. Religious Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet, you are a plague, and we (Darwinists) are the cure. Agent Smith(AKA RD): Do you hear that, Mr. Anderson? That is the sound of inevitability. We Darwinists are about to crush you under the train of 'overwhelming evidence' Neo: I am the BULB, my name is neoooo-luminous!!!lucID_{April 19, 2006
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Morpheus: There is a difference between knowing the bulb and screwing the bulb. I can only show you the bulb, you are the one who has to screw it in the socket. Generic: None. We all know that snowflakes and crystals form naturally, therefore light bulbs and sockets can join under certain natural conditions. It is simple chemistry and physics. You must be religiously motivated to believe in Darwinists, fairies, angels and other supernatural nonsense. Keep your hands off our science.Farshad_{April 19, 2006
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LOL Please stop!Mats_{April 19, 2006
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PZ Myers: Certainly anyone who would screw in a light bulb is unfit for tenure. After all we wouldn't want any screwed up professors at our universities unless they are screwed up enough to destroy 90% of light bulbs with e-coli lite.bFast_{April 19, 2006
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Sigmund Freud: An unscrewed bulb is the result of early sexual childhood neurosis brought upon by the mother. Psychoanalysis can help, but it will take a long time and the bulb really, REALLY must want to get screwed.just lurkin_{April 19, 2006
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This is hillarious Gil, thanks for posting. I have to add only one: Eugenie Scott: Gosh, I just can't believe we're still having this debate. The lighbulb is so obviously screwed in. We have mountains of evidence telling us just how screwed it is. Screwed in, I mean. And by the way, thats Eugenie, pronounced Euw-Jeen-ee. Can't we all just admit that none of those aweful IDers could have done it - they can't even see the light, let alone screw it in - so it must have been one of us wonderfully enlightened and witty Dawkinites, I mean Darwinians. Now, can we stop debating this? Again, my name is E-u-g-e-n-i-e, but you can call me Dr. Scott. Oh, right, getting back to the original question: I guess the answer is "one", as long as it's Richard, but probably more than one otherwise. In any case, it has to be someone qualified to do the actual screwing in of the bulb. An IDer just won't do.dougmoran_{April 19, 2006
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