A Pulitzer Prize-winning novelist sometimes edited papers at the Santa Fe Institute and a couple of biologist, one theoretical and one evolutionary, offer some recollections of his approach, including
Inject questions and less-formal language to break up tone and maintain a friendly feeling. Colloquial expressions can be good for this, but they shouldn’t be too narrowly tied to a region. Similarly, use a personal tone because it can help to engage a reader. Impersonal, passive text doesn’t fool anyone into thinking you’re being objective: “Earth is the centre of this Solar System” isn’t any more objective or factual than “We are at the centre of our Solar System.”
Van Savage and Pamela Yeh, “Novelist ’s tips on how to write a great science paper” at Nature
It’s not clear how many science editors would go for the level of readability he urges scientists to strive for.