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Onion story too much like actual cosmology today to qualify as spoof

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Cosmologists have banded together to sue newspaper for stealing their ideas. From “Physicists Discover Our Universe Is Fictional Setting Of Cop Show Called ‘Hard Case’” (the Onion, June 7, 2012), we learn,

A report released Tuesday by physicists at Stanford University has revealed that the entire known universe—including the whole of human civilization and the totality of all existing matter and energy—is actually the fictional setting of a police-procedural television series called Hard Case.

Scientists studying the properties of light from exploding supernovae confirmed their research has conclusively demonstrated that existence as we know it was created solely to provide the framework for a prime-time drama that airs in a parallel universe and is centered around a brash New York City police detective named Rick Case, his partner Michelle Crowley, and the other members of Hard Case’s fictitious Homicide Division.

Sort of a riff off Templeton-winning physicist Martin Rees’ speculation that we are living in a giant sim.

It gets better: The universe was created a few years ago, and all previous events are backstory. Phillip Gosse, updated?

In a related story at the site, geologists say “We are slowly running out of rocks.”

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