Atheism Darwinism Uncommon Descent Contest

Uncommon Descent Contest: Give Darwinist Jerry Coyne’s atheist crusade/jihad a name

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(This contest is now closed for judging. Thanks to all participants.) Judged here.

Crusade/jihad? No, it doesn’t properly  describe this antic in a science journal (see also this). In the best tradition of our contest to come up with a term for a reviewer who does not read the book he is trashing (which resulted in noviewer as the winning entry), we now invite contest mavens to address the following problem:

From The Best Schools: “Jerry Coyne, Holy Warrior,” here.

Jerry Coyne has declared a holy war on theistic religions, in the name of his own atheistic religion, Darwinism.

We lack a word in English for the sort of campaign Coyne and his New Atheist friends are conducting against Christianity. Technically speaking, “crusades” are conducted under the sign of the cross, and “jihads” are conducted in the name of Allah.

What do you call a holy war conducted under the sign of the fish with little feet? Darwinade? Ichthypodihad?

Let’s just say “holy war,” and leave it at that.” More.

Leave it at that? Mmm, maybe not. We need a new Coynage. What should we call Coyne’s battle for incivility toward – and distortion of facts about – traditional religion?

For example, we might have called the Cold War “frostilities” …

Contest judged next Saturday, April 28, 2012. Prize is a copy of Nature of Nature: Examining the Role of Naturalism in Science, the best book available for understanding what both sides say on the Darwin vs. design controversy, in their own words.

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57 Replies to “Uncommon Descent Contest: Give Darwinist Jerry Coyne’s atheist crusade/jihad a name

  1. 1
    P.G. says:

    I have good one,Wile E. Coyote.

  2. 2
    lpadron says:

    Dar Wars.

  3. 3
    scordova says:

    Nero Darwinist Inquisition

  4. 4
    scordova says:

    Nero Darwinist Inquisition by the Ayatollah of Atheism

  5. 5
    William J. Murray says:


    Coyne is obviously theophobe.

  6. 6
    Collin says:

    I like Mr. Murray’s. Other ideas: Coysade. Spaghettihad. Sciencide (like homicide).

  7. 7
    Charles says:

    Ad gnuseam

  8. 8
    William J. Murray says:

    You could probably make the case that Coyne and others are being the equivalent of racists, since under their view religious beliefs are simply evolutionary traits, like the color of one’s skin or their body type.

  9. 9
    superawesomegreat says:


  10. 10
    John W Kelly says:

    Unholy War

  11. 11
    Jammer says:

    It’s the gnu atheists’ very own Crusades, so…

    The Gnusades.

  12. 12
    snelldl says:


  13. 13
    snelldl says:


  14. 14
    Starbuck says:


  15. 15
    nullasalus says:

    I like ‘The Gnusades’ above.

    Some suggestions from me:

    The Great Tantrum.
    The Ten Year Hate.
    The Bitchpocalypse.

  16. 16

    Not an entry…but a poem (just for fun..)

    Save us, Jerry, from the devils
    In the churches ‘cross the land!
    Let ’em know that they’re Verboten!
    With you, Jerry, we will stand!

    Hose ’em, gas ’em…Jerry, pass ’em
    Into ovens, through the fire!
    Ship ’em to the coliseum;
    Lift the gene pool, Jerry, higher!

    Jihad Jerry, round ’em up, man!
    Those Jehovah-genes must go!
    Cleanse the planet of the vermin…
    Achtung! Jere, we’re with you, Bro’!

    Show ’em who’s the fit among us….
    Now you’ve got the masses stirred!
    Give us, Jerry, marching orders
    Come on, brother…Preach the Word!

    Rid the world of this dysfunction….
    Make these bloodlines more pristine!
    Jerry, spread Thy Coyne-a-nea.
    Pass ’em through Thy Meat Machine!

  17. 17

    Jihad of the Coyne-o-nihilistas

  18. 18
    johnnyb says:

    I vote for Collin’s “Spaghettihad”

  19. 19
    Joe says:

    Call it what it is- pycho-babble

  20. 20
    StuartHarris says:


    (That will be the new longest word in the English language. I should get prize just for that.)

  21. 21
    Axel says:


  22. 22
    God chaser says:


    Jerrymandering is a practice that attempts to establish a political advantage for a particular party or group by manipulating scientific boundaries to create partisan or incumbent-protected ideologies

  23. 23
    God chaser says:

    or how about Jerry-rigging


    To fix it to a working condition in a haphazard way

  24. 24
    Axel says:

    Neat, StuartHarris. It approaches the nub of the issue.

  25. 25
    God chaser says:

    and lastly Jerrycide


    the deliberate and systematic destruction of religion!

  26. 26
    Axel says:

    .. or Jerendipity, God chaser.

  27. 27
    material.infantacy says:

    Lots of very clever entries here. My favorites would have to be Spaghettihad and Bitchpocalypse.

    My own modest contributions:

    Suicide of Thought (HT: GKC)
    Blind Fury
    The Bright Way
    The Bright Wingers
    The Bright Brigade
    The Bigot Brigade
    The Gnu Religionists
    Most High Gnus
    The Gnu Brights
    Gnuclear Holocaust
    Hangman’s Gnus
    That’s Gnus to Me
    I Pwn Gnuuubs!!!11!!1

    …OK those are just getting awful now…

  28. 28
    julianbre says:


  29. 29
    santitafarella says:

    I believe I’ve thought of the right word.

    Jerry Coyne is a dissectheist. I derive the word from Wordsworth’s line, in his poem, “The Tables Turned”:

    “We murder to dissect.”

    The dissectheist, like the theist, concerns himself with religion, and is energized by it. But the dissectheist is energized, not by a living and felt presence of God in his life, but by God’s absence; God’s death or murder. Deconstructing theology and taking stabs at the body of religion are sources of pleasure for the dissectheist.

    Going a bit further with this, I detect three types of dissectheists: the libertarians (content to rely on persuasion alone to advance their cause); Gnu Dealers (supporters of government sponsored legal “dams” directing and taming the course of religion and conscience into secular grooves); and Lennonists or gnutopians (those who imagine and hope for a world with no religion at all).

    Of course, dissectheists like Jerry Coyne have their counterparts among theists. I would call them the dissectularists: those theists who spend a lot of their time focused on secularism and secularists (for the purposes of dissection and deconstruction). But that’s another contest.

    The advantage of making “dissectheist” shorthand for atheists obsessed with religion is that the term is not really insulting, yet accurate.

    I can imagine that there are atheists who would accept the designation (though not originating with them).

    And it fills a gap: there are atheists (those who don’t believe in gods); dissectheists (those who don’t believe in gods, and see themselves as being at war with those who do); and faitheists (those who don’t believe in gods, but are friendly and accommodating to religion and religious dialogue, as Albert Camus was).

    —Santi Tafarella

  30. 30
    julianbre says:


  31. 31
    OmneVivumExVivo says:

    “What do you call a holy war conducted under the sign of the fish with little feet?”


    Or, if you want to get a bit punny, you could go with “ichthypodic,” based on the little “ichthypods” alluded to in the quote.

    @ StuartHarris:
    I feel that the word “Antidisdarwinestablishmentarianism” needs a bit of fine tuning. The way it is now, you’ve put “Darwin” between the “dis” and “establishment” of “disestablishment.” The result, of course, is that the concept of “disestablishment” is no longer intact in the word.

    I would propose that the “Darwin” be moved from its current place between “dis” and “establishment” to a new locale between “anti” and “dis.” The resulting word is “Antidarwindisestablishmentarianism.”

    I find my new spelling of the word ineffective, because it appears to imply that someone is fighting for the disestablishment of Darwin. No one is doing that. What people are resisting is the false ideology that carries his name, Darwinism. So, the revision (as I would have it)would be “Antidarwinistdisestablishmentarianism.”

    If anyone can find a reason as to why my revisions are unnecessary, or as to why further revisions need to be made, they are invited to do so.

  32. 32
    material.infantacy says:

    I’ll add “Gnuhad” to the list.

  33. 33
    Mung says:

    What should we call Coyne’s battle for incivility toward – and distortion of facts about – traditional religion?

    Lest we forget:

    Jesus himself railed against traditional religion.

    otoh Jesus also said:

    I also say to you that you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build My church; and the gates of Hades will not overpower it.

    Has anyone tried Clad Coynage?

  34. 34
    God chaser says:


    The search for truth in all the wrong places..

  35. 35
    StuartHarris says:

    God Chaser: “Coynoscopy” Very good! and usually done while the subject is under complete general anesthesia.

    OmneVivumExVivo: Regarding my “Antidisdarwinestablishmentarianism”. This is of course based on the word, “antidisestablishmentarianism” which came from the Counter Reformation (I think) and means “being against those who are against the establishment of the Church of Rome”. Given that Darwinism is now a religion that views itself as the High Church with ex cathedra statements from Coyne and Dawkins taken as fiats and diktats, I think that they think that the establishment of Darwinism is being dissed, and since they are opposed to such ideas and fight for their view, it should be ordered as: anti-dis-darwin-establishment-arianism.

    Well anyway, it’s best to use a long word that will confuse their pea-brains. (To my Catholic and Protestant friends, please note that I’m not using a word from the Reformation and Counter Reformation to insult anybody!)

  36. 36
    julianbre says:

    A few more for the list.
    Coynecidental Evolution

  37. 37
    StuartHarris says:

    The hard Darwinian movement is:

    I think Mary Poppins would say that’s “practically perfect in every way”.

  38. 38
    felipe says:

    The mother of all the unholy battles

  39. 39
    Robert Byers says:

    Neo -Coyneism (communism tried this already).

  40. 40
    Eugen says:

    Jerry’s Jihad = Jerryhad

  41. 41
    God chaser says:


    The deliberate and systematic destruction of religion!

  42. 42
    God chaser says:



    The spreading of the idea of a nation without religion

    See also: Jerrynation

  43. 43
    God chaser says:



    A nation without religion

  44. 44
    God chaser says:



    The spreading the message of the Gospel of Darwin

  45. 45
    God chaser says:


  46. 46
    Joe says:


    a localized, pathological, bloviation-filled oratory spewage caused by the extreme fear of the design inference. Can be contagious amongst the weak-minded.

  47. 47

    Brother Coyne’s Traveling Salvation Show?

  48. 48
    Blue_Savannah says:

    the freeless thinkers
    the flipped Coynes
    the accidental chemicals
    Coynes without sense (cents)
    Operation: clueless

  49. 49
    God chaser says:

    The Clone Wars

  50. 50
    God chaser says:



    A last, desperate military charge



    A last, desperate scientific charge when there is no empirical evidence

  51. 51
    God chaser says:

    Opps: Darbanzai

  52. 52
    julianbre says:


  53. 53
    God chaser says:


  54. 54
    moshe averick says:

    I don’t know about the name for the crusade but I have a song for the campaign: The “Why Evolution is True” Blues

  55. 55
    Joe says:

    And I already have their camp-fire song:

    Poof, the Magic Mutant (to the tune “Puff the Magic Dragon”)

    Poof the Magic Mutant, a-t-g-c
    And changed them just by randomness just to see what he could be.
    Little Richard Dawkins, loved that rascal Poof.
    And wrote him books to appease the kooks, oh what a silly goof!

    Oh Poof the Magic Mutant, a-t-g-c
    And changed them just by randomness just to see what he could be
    Poof the Magic Mutant, a-t-g-c
    And changed them just by randomness just to see what he could be

    Together they would mutate Poof into a beluga whale
    Richard kept a spectroscope trained on Poof’s mutating tail.
    Nobel things and atheists bowed whene’er they came
    Scientists would lower their flasks when Poof mutated a mane

    Oh Poof the Magic Mutant, a-t-g-c
    And changed them just by randomness just to see what he could be
    Poof the Magic Mutant, a-t-g-c
    And changed them just by randomness just to see what he could be

    Mutations can’t go on forever, just like little boys
    Antennaed wings and giant things doom nature’s mutant ploys
    One gray night it happened, natural selection said no more
    And Poof that Magic Mutant, mutated one last roar

    His head was bent in sorrow, his tears fell like rain
    Richard no longer went to write it gave him so much pain
    Without his life-long friend Dick could not be brave
    So Dick that evo-poofer sadly slipped in to his cave

    Oh Poof the Magic Mutant, a-t-g-c
    And changed them just by randomness just to see what he could be
    Poof the Magic Mutant, a-t-g-c
    And changed them just by randomness just to see what he could be

    (repeat chorus and fade…)

  56. 56
    Eugen says:

    Great samurai warrior Jerry-san is preparing for war. Inspired, his young student composes haiku;

    Snow has melted
    Jerry-san sharpening sword
    Bird pooped

    (sorry if it’s inappropriate)

  57. 57
    God chaser says:

    “a suffix extracted from marathon, “an event, as a sale or contest, drawn out to unusual length, often until a prearranged goal, as the contribution of a certain amount of money, is reached”: walkathon; readathon” .

    and now…………….. “Nogodathon”

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