Yes, yes, we should be reporting on something else. All in good time.
But Elon Musk has just become Twitter’s biggest shareholder, after slamming the social medium for anti-free speech activities. And he did give the Bee an interview, claiming “I’m not perverted enough to be on CNN”
That should get both the Bee and its hive of critics buzzing.
The most significant thing to see about all this is that the Bee is doing what late night comics used to do but now dare not. Someone needs to fix that.
So, brought to you by the Uncommon Descent News Coffee Room (Bagels and Biscuits Night):
Gizmodo: “The richest man on earth and tech’s most petulant CEO, Elon Musk, became the biggest shareholder of Twitter last month, a social network he said was “failing to adhere to free speech principles.” Actually, the freest people on Eareth are the richest so it makes sense.
PJ Media: Following Twitter’s suspension of the Babylon Bee, Elon Musk appeared to get a little irritated. In late March, Musk asked his more than 80 million followers what to do about Twitter’s failure to adhere to free speech principles.
The Bee on the new Big Guy: “Liberals Outraged To Learn 10% Of Twitter Now Owned By African-American”:
“Elon’s foreigner ways aren’t welcome here,” said Twitter Programming Director Xerxie Vamoosixx, (xe/xir.) “I watched a TikTok video about a Salon article about a tweet from a journalist that said Elon is ‘based,’ which is another word for transphobic. I have literally not stopped shaking and throwing up on my desk since I found out.”
Whatever will Bee will Bee. Meanwhile, some current favourites to relax with before we get on to the Other News (= what we are supposed to be doing):
● Rat Colony Beneath D.C. Disgusted To Find City Infested With Politicians
RAT LAND—A rat colony underneath Washington, D.C. recently became aware of a surface world with blue skies, warm sunlight, and abundant garbage. The colony, ruled by a council of noble volunteers, was planning a great move to the “land of plenty” until it was discovered to be infested with hundreds of politicians.
● Under Florida Law Bengay Forced To Rebrand As Benstraight
“Due to Ron DeSantis’s new legislation, the word ‘gay’ is now completely forbidden in the state of Florida. At least—that’s what it said in all my favorite left-wing media sources,” said J&J Vice President Damien Creemstank. “This rebranding effort will make our product legal again, and should increase our sales in the homophobic bigot community.”
● Elijah Criticized By Israel For ‘Unloving Satire’ Toward The Prophets Of Baal
“Yeah, I know our entire nation has forsaken the true God of Heaven to follow idols, but did he really have to use verbal attacks like that?” said one local magistrate. “He told the prophets of Baal ‘maybe your god is taking a dump on the toilet and can’t hear you.’ That’s just crude and uncalled for.”
From the Babylon Bee (still in Twitter jail)
This stuff is not our usual line of coverage. But in these strange times — when Woke American billionaires tell us all when we may and may not laugh — you might be missing the Bee’s sendup of some of the most asinine upperclassmen in Western history. So here’s your fix.
You may also wish to laugh your way through: The Babylon Bee is in Twitter Jail… For your Saturday evening amusement, here are some of their latest stories, including Adam Confused By New Creature God Put In Garden As He Is Not A Biologist.
As the Babylon Bee staff wait it out in Twitter Jail… The Babylon Bee’s Twitter Account Was Suspended, But That Made Its Story Go Viral “If Twitter’s goal had been to remove the harmful content, it backfired spectacularly. That original tweet, which was posted on March 15, had largely flown under the radar – yet when news that the parody site’s account was suspended, the tweet suddenly went viral.” Look, it’s an updated version of “Banned in Boston,” right?